In this Issue:

Commentary: Sex is NOT a Four Letter Word by Rev. Michael Piazza
Commentary: Pastoral Reflections by Rev. Shelley Hamilton
Haggard to undergo ‘Restoration’

Commentary: Sex is NOT a Four Letter Word
by Rev. Michael S. Piazza

Let me begin with a confession. When I first heard that Rev. Ted Haggard might have had sex with a gay male escort/masseur, I felt a bit of glee. It is probably a sign of the weakness of my soul that I take delight in the exposure of a fundamentalist’s hypocrisy. Rev. Haggard had been, after all, a major opponent of equal rights for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and had denounced homosexuality as a sin.

As the story gained attention, though, my better nature kicked in. Haggard denied the accusations, so I worried that he, in fact, might be innocent. As a spiritual leader, I know first-hand the incredible pain and damage that can be done by scurrilous accusations. I could more than imagine what this was doing to his family and to his church.

Eventually, though, my emotional evolution reached the point of anger. I am angry at him for his hypocrisy, but I also feel sorry for a fellow human stuck in a system that oppressed his true identity. Ultimately, my anger was directed toward the leaders of the American fundamentalist movement. They denounced Rev. Haggard, fired him, and discarded him for life because of his “sexual indiscretions.” Not one word was mentioned about the fact that he confessed to buying illegal and highly destructive drugs. NO. The only “sin” the fundamentalists seem to care about is sex … homosexual sex.

Now, I am not defending Rev. Haggard’s sexual behavior, but the truth of the matter is he wasn’t accused of rape, and all the parties involved were consenting adults. Did he violate his covenant with his wife? Apparently, but isn’t that between them and God? I mean, who would blame her if she kicked his butt, divorced him, and even sued him? But that has nothing to do with me, society or the American fundamentalist movement. What does rend the fabric of society, and is worthy of our judgment, is his buying illegal methamphetamines—a drug that is killing thousands and destroying lives, especially in the LGBT community. No one seems to care about that, except to ridicule his claim that he bought them and threw them away. Why is the sin we care about sex, not illegal drugs? Why was he fired for sex, not his easily confessed drug purchase?

Early in the evolving story, Rev. Haggard admitted to purchasing drugs but denied having sex with that man. That fact alone speaks volumes about what is considered a serious sin in his fundamentalist subculture. He knew his career could survive drug abuse, but not the revelation that he had been sexually intimate with another man. Ponder that for a moment. Where did these values come from? Certainly not from Jesus. What is even worse is that our own community seems to have missed the point.

We who were once considered sexual outlaws dare not allow the demonization of this man’s private, consensual, sexual act. Was it sinful? I am not able to cast the first stone, but must leave that to his wife and his God. The church he leads has the right to dismiss him for hypocrisy, but that is not what they did. They fired him because he was sexually intimate with another human in a way they consider sinful. They did not fire him for buying illegal drugs, but for doing something that the Supreme Court ruled was legal (except he paid for it, and that is still frowned upon in most states).

We must push back against the temptation to join the chorus condemning Rev. Haggard. At the very least, we must reserve our condemnation for his hypocrisy and his violating Federal drug laws. When we get caught in the cycle of condemning another adult for their sexual choices, we perpetuate the very dynamic that has been used against so many of us. Sex is not sinful. It is not dirty. It is not something of which to be ashamed. It can be sinfully used—and perhaps was in this case—but that is between him and his wife. The blatant sin in this situation was the same one Jesus so often condemned: not sex, but religious hypocrisy.

We who are sexual people of faith must exercise great care that we avoid that very sin.

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Commentary: Pastoral Reflections
by Rev. Shelley Hamilton
H4PJ Program Director

The morning in Dallas is cool; the air is moist and fresh upon my face. Autumn colors and smells abound. Me, I’m glad for life this morning; and for creation. And I’m profoundly thankful for all the Saints; living and dead, who have helped me open myself fully to the wonder, joy, and freedom of God’s love and grace. I’m grateful to be who I am and where I am in my life today. Always, in the midst of mulling over my many blessings and gifts; Jesus bids me pray for others.

In this case, on route to the office, I see in my mind and heart the image of Ted Haggard and his wife talking to a reporter through their car window. Specifically, his wife, her face already beginning to reflect the stress, disbelief, and pain she’s experiencing. I feel deep sadness for her, and the children. I will continue to pray for her, their children, other family and church. I will also pray, and I invite you to do the same; that the fear, ignorance, and hatred responsible for such brokenness and oppression be healed.

I receive no joy or satisfaction in the revelation that Ted Haggard has lived a double life; a life of deceit and pretense. Or in the grief and shame he’s experiencing. Every LGBT person in the world knows what that’s like and we wouldn’t wish it on anyone. What I do receive joy and satisfaction from; is the certain knowledge that God, whomever that universal, compassionate and gracious power may be, loves me, and for whatever bizarre, and outrageous reason created me queer (strange, different, eccentric, other than usual); just as I am. My relationship with Jesus and other queer Christians has helped me experience a kind of freedom that’s worth all the fear, hatred, and ignorance I’ve endured, in order to know it.

Now that Ted Haggard has no secrets perhaps he, too, will experience this freedom. Sadder to me, even than the deception is his conviction, that he is afflicted with a horrible sick desire that lures him emotionally and physically to men. Indeed, as this reflection draws me deeper, is the sadness and reality that Ted Haggard is merely one of millions. Most of us don’t make the news. Our pictures aren’t plastered on television screens and newspapers. We aren’t rich or famous. Still, we are imprisoned by the same fears, doubts, anxieties, and deceptions that Haggard is. And our families are also victims of our oppression as well.

Homophobia is an irrational fear of, aversion to; and or hatred of homosexual people. In the Queer Community we consider homophobia a deadly disease. It kills us in a myriad of ways. Religious fundamentalism is a powerful manifestation of one of those ways. Ted Haggard is a victim of his own toxic beliefs. Christianity has never been able to reconcile human spirituality and sexuality. Christians have insisted through the centuries that Jesus’ birth was untainted by sex. We’ve even killed people over Mary’s virginity --- or not. What kind of a message do those beliefs convey? Certainly, not one of affirmation, delight and joy for this wonderful and mysterious gift we call sexuality.

I feel great compassion for this man. I’m also sorry that his life has been gripped with fear, deception, self loathing, and a belief that he is an abomination to God. Even greater compassion for his wife and children because of what they will endure because of his fear and deception. Because Ted Haggard believed it was sinful to be who he is, his wife and children will always doubt the purity of his love and devotion for them. Will always wonder if they were only objects for him to conceal his secret behind.

I’ve been a pastor for a very long time. I’ve known many Ted Haggard’s and seen hundreds of families torn apart because of homophobia. I’ve heard every reason there is for lying about who we are. The bottom line - we all have only one thing to lose - our souls, and if we lose our souls none of the rest has any lasting value or meaning. I’ve also heard all the justifications religious folk have for condemning LGBT people - the scriptures, family values, preservation of society, and the sanctity of marriage. Here’s what I know for certain - I’m an aging Lesbian woman. I’ve loved many women. They’ve been beautiful, challenging, and they’ve taught me how to love, share, be kind, generous and just. I’ve never made a secret of this.

I’ve never pretended to be other than I am, not because I’m better or stronger than anyone else; simply because I know I was born a Lesbian. I’ve always known, even before I knew the word. It took me a long time to understand that God loves me because of who I am. The freedom this understanding has brought me is exhilarating. I wish so very much that I could share this joy with Pastor Haggard, and all the young people in his congregation, and congregations all over the world, who are beginning to struggle with and deny their sexuality. Queer people of faith the world over; we have much work to do. Much work to do.

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Haggard to undergo ‘Restoration’
Originally published by CNN.com

Ted Haggard says he's about to embark on a process of rehabilitation known as "spiritual
restoration," an ancient practice that could take years to complete.

The practice originates with St. Paul, according to some evangelical Christians. "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted," Paul wrote in the biblical book of Galatians.

Haggard has been in turmoil ever since he was accused of extramarital relations with a male prostitute and was forced to resign as president of the National Association of Evangelicals and senior pastor of the 14,000-member New Life Church in Colorado Springs.

According to Rev. Rick Busby, head of Busby Ministries, a ministry of spiritual restoration, in Augusta, Georgia, the steps involved in spiritual restoration include submitting, admitting, restitution and being humbled.

Haggard must agree to submit to an oversight committee, usually three to six men, who will meet with him once or twice a week for several hours. The process, depending on the sin, Busby said, can sometimes take years.

But the process can't begin at all until the sinner has owned up to his sins.

Pastor Steve Sjogren of Coastland Tampa Church in Florida said sexual sin "is not just one sin, it involves a variety of sins like lying, cheating and hypocrisy."

In a letter to his church, Haggard admitted to being a "deceiver and a liar." He earlier acknowledged that he had paid a Denver man to give him a massage and sell him crystal meth. The man, Mike Jones, says Haggard paid him for sex.

Sins on that level can take a long time to address, according to Rev. Tom Pedigo, a former evangelical pastor who went through restoration himself.

"Usually in the first few months, the person is numb," Pedigo said. "The minister doesn't confess to everything at once, because he is so embarrassed and filled with shame. The restoration team knows what needs to be accomplished to break down his defenses."

Pedigo is author of "The Restoration Manual: A Workbook for Restoring Fallen Ministers and Religious Leaders." Here are some of the 500 questions the manual suggests asking:

• Do you have peace with God right now?
• Does any kind of sin inwardly or outwardly have dominion over you?
• Do you desire to be told of your faults?
• Have you participated in any sin that led to your downfall this week?
• What thoughts are dominating you right now?
• Has there been anything that we've asked you that you've lied about today?

Suggested questions for dealing with sexual sin include:

• What fantasies are you dealing with this week?
• How do you overcome them to keep from acting out on them?
• Is there something we need to know that you have not told us?

Part of the reason the oversight team is made up of men, according to Rev. Pedigo is because questions dealing with sexual sin must be very detailed and a male pastor may be inhibited responding to women. In Haggard's case, the accusation is he had sex with a man, a practice he and his church have condemned.

Together with the overseers, the pastor must make a list of all of the people who have been affected by his sin, including his wife, his children and the man or woman with whom he has committed the sin.

In a process called restitution, the pastor must then go to each of those people, face-to-face and ask for forgiveness.

"A pastor should fall on his knees and go to those very people in that church and make a public statement and say to them I ask for your forgiveness," Pastor Busby said.

The wife should be a focal point of this process, said Pedigo. "The wife is often left out of the process, but she has hurts, brokenness and bitterness, and there must be healing for her too."

Finally, the pastor must be humbled, Busby said. "From 2 Peter, 'Humble yourself that he may exalt you in due time.' You must get under God's hand."

A pastor used to preaching before thousands, for example, might be sent to preach in a congregation of five people. Right now, Haggard is not preaching at all.

"Humbling is part of God's plan," Busby said. "The high and mighty God has brought down, but they can then be a powerful testimony."

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