Commentary: Sex is NOT a Four Letter Word
by Rev. Michael S. Piazza

Let me begin with a confession. When I first heard that Rev. Ted Haggard might have had sex with a gay male escort/masseur, I felt a bit of glee. It is probably a sign of the weakness of my soul that I take delight in the exposure of a fundamentalist’s hypocrisy. Rev. Haggard had been, after all, a major opponent of equal rights for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and had denounced homosexuality as a sin.

As the story gained attention, though, my better nature kicked in. Haggard denied the accusations, so I worried that he, in fact, might be innocent. As a spiritual leader, I know first-hand the incredible pain and damage that can be done by scurrilous accusations. I could more than imagine what this was doing to his family and to his church.

Eventually, though, my emotional evolution reached the point of anger. I am angry at him for his hypocrisy, but I also feel sorry for a fellow human stuck in a system that oppressed his true identity. Ultimately, my anger was directed toward the leaders of the American fundamentalist movement. They denounced Rev. Haggard, fired him, and discarded him for life because of his “sexual indiscretions.” Not one word was mentioned about the fact that he confessed to buying illegal and highly destructive drugs. NO. The only “sin” the fundamentalists seem to care about is sex … homosexual sex.

Now, I am not defending Rev. Haggard’s sexual behavior, but the truth of the matter is he wasn’t accused of rape, and all the parties involved were consenting adults. Did he violate his covenant with his wife? Apparently, but isn’t that between them and God? I mean, who would blame her if she kicked his butt, divorced him, and even sued him? But that has nothing to do with me, society or the American fundamentalist movement. What does rend the fabric of society, and is worthy of our judgment, is his buying illegal methamphetamines—a drug that is killing thousands and destroying lives, especially in the LGBT community. No one seems to care about that, except to ridicule his claim that he bought them and threw them away. Why is the sin we care about sex, not illegal drugs? Why was he fired for sex, not his easily confessed drug purchase?

Early in the evolving story, Rev. Haggard admitted to purchasing drugs but denied having sex with that man. That fact alone speaks volumes about what is considered a serious sin in his fundamentalist subculture. He knew his career could survive drug abuse, but not the revelation that he had been sexually intimate with another man. Ponder that for a moment. Where did these values come from? Certainly not from Jesus. What is even worse is that our own community seems to have missed the point.

We who were once considered sexual outlaws dare not allow the demonization of this man’s private, consensual, sexual act. Was it sinful? I am not able to cast the first stone, but must leave that to his wife and his God. The church he leads has the right to dismiss him for hypocrisy, but that is not what they did. They fired him because he was sexually intimate with another human in a way they consider sinful. They did not fire him for buying illegal drugs, but for doing something that the Supreme Court ruled was legal (except he paid for it, and that is still frowned upon in most states).

We must push back against the temptation to join the chorus condemning Rev. Haggard. At the very least, we must reserve our condemnation for his hypocrisy and his violating Federal drug laws. When we get caught in the cycle of condemning another adult for their sexual choices, we perpetuate the very dynamic that has been used against so many of us. Sex is not sinful. It is not dirty. It is not something of which to be ashamed. It can be sinfully used—and perhaps was in this case—but that is between him and his wife. The blatant sin in this situation was the same one Jesus so often condemned: not sex, but religious hypocrisy.

We who are sexual people of faith must exercise great care that we avoid that very sin.