Dear Colleagues:
Like you, this has been a time of conflicting emotions. I wept as we elected our first African-American president and smiled as he mentioned us in his victory speech on election night. It was a stark contrast to all those years ago when we couldn’t persuade President Reagan even to say the word “AIDS” while we were burying thousands of our lovers and friends. It is a new day in America.
Of course, I also was moved to tears of frustration with our defeats in Florida, Arkansas, Arizona and California. Since then, I have pondered long and hard on what we might have done differently. While I understand completely the anger turned toward the Mormon Church for its role in the California defeat, I’m not sure that attitude will produce the change we all seek. The critical issue now is to look at this setback and learn what we need to do differently to produce a different outcome.
It is understandable that the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community sees church and religion as the enemy. That, by and large, certainly has been the case. However, the very definition of crazy is “doing the same thing and expecting different results.” Maybe it is time for us to take a different approach to this if we really want different results.
Because of our inherent antipathy toward church, our leadership underestimated its impact even in California. African-Americans went in record numbers to vote for Barack Obama, and, while they were there, all too many voted against the civil rights of LGBT people. This was because we have allowed the conservative churches in the African-American communities to shape attitudes toward issues like marriage. They have framed the issue, and we share some responsibility for allowing that to happen.
When was the last time LGBT leaders challenged the racism of our own community? When did we last summon our people to join in the work of racial justice? Shouldn’t African-American civil rights leaders see us as their strongest allies? Why haven’t we sponsored conversations between the two communities to engender greater understanding?
I believe another pivotal question is when will we quit simply dismissing those who hold differing religious views as “homophobic”? We cannot engage in a conversation with religious people as long as we regard them as our enemies or dismiss them as unintelligent or irrelevant. We certainly do not need to reach an agreement about vision or values, but we do need to understand better who they are and why they believe what they do.
Finally, I believe we will continue to lose this issue so long as we allow “them” to frame the issue. If we continue to insist that we have the “right to marry” they will continue to insist on their definition of marriage. On the other hand, we need to help them see that we do not need their permission to get married, but that we are trying to stop discrimination against law-abiding taxpayers. You see, lesbian and gay people get married every day. We do it in churches and synagogues across this country, and we do it without any religion’s approval. They can’t stop us from getting married, no matter how many times they vote. This really isn’t about marriage; it never has been. It is about discrimination.
If we frame the issue that way we will win. If we continue to let the Religious Right frame the argument, we will continue to lose. It is also a losing battle to dismiss religious folks as simply homophobic. Instead we must appeal to their value for fairness. Treating religion with disdain and disregard isn’t winning this issue for us.
Blessings,
Michael Piazza
President, Hope for Peace & Justice
